Are you in need of a little laughter? Well, these funny words of wisdom will put a light-hearted spin on some heartfelt issues. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying and hopefully these quotes will put you in good spirits.
A Bit About Funny Words Of Wisdom
Everything in life isn’t a joke, but you can’t always be so uptight. When you need to escape from your emotions, the best thing to do is get some comedic relief. Why? Because it’s impossible to feel hurt and laugh at the same time. No one said that wisdom couldn’t be humorous. And the great thing about funny words of wisdom is that they give you truth and inspiration while also making you smile. It’s a win-win!
A Hilarious List Of Funny Words Of Wisdom
If you need some enlightenment, these quotes are just what you need to get in a better mood.
1. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with them later.” —Mitch Hedberg
2. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” —Jack Handey
3. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.” —Mark Twain
4. “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” —Ellen DeGeneres
5. “You can’t shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond.” —Eric Thomas
We go through a refinement, then we become the best version of ourselves.
6. “I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.” —Maya Angelou
7. “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”
8. “The only time I don’t have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground.” —James Jason
9. “The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.” —Abraham Lincoln
10. “If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself.” —Irish Proverbs
Never do anything bad to others. Do not trap them for failure. If you do, you only do that to yourself. Instead, encourage and be kind to one another.
11. “Middle age is when you can still do everything you used to do—but you decide you’ll do it tomorrow.” —Dr. Tom Haggai
12. “Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” —C.E.M. Joad
13. “If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won’t come up with a hand full of mud either.” —Leo Burnett
14. “Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip.” —Richard Steele
15. “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.” —Billy Sunday
16. “People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.” —Benjamin Franklin
17. “Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.” —Gandhi
Earth has offered us a lot of beautiful things in life. With that, we are to enjoy it and also remain humble. It is never to make us boastful and be greedy.
18. “You can practice shooting 8 hours a day, but if your technique is wrong, then all you become is very good at shooting the wrong way.” —Michael Jordan
19. “Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you’re alive, it isn’t.” —Richard Bach
20. “We humans are a silly bunch. We spend half our time trying to fit in with the crowd and the other half trying to stand out from it.” —Nick Vujicic
21. “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” —Abraham Lincoln
22. “Lower your expectations of earth. This isn’t heaven, so don’t expect it to be.” —Max Lucado
Earth is a beautiful place but not a place of perfection. It has a lot of rocky roads and narrow roads. So, there will be challenges and trials along the way.
23. “The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.” —Proverb
24. “Why hoard your troubles? They have no market value, so just throw them away.” —Ann Schade
25. “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.” —George Carlin
26. “I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”
27. “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
Some people do not just use their common sense. However, it is very important to have.
28. “The easiest way to organize your stuff is to get rid of most of it.”
29. “When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.” —Bernard Bailey
30. “Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.” —Carl Sandburg
31. “Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.” —Frank Moore Colby
32. “There are two sources of unhappiness in life. One is not getting what you want and the other is getting it.” —Cassey Stolrich
33. “If the grass is greener on the other side it’s probably getting better care.” —Earl Nightingale
34. “Nothing pains some people more than having to think.” —Martin Luther King Jr.
35. “When fate hands us a lemon, let’s try to make lemonade.” —Dale Carnegie
36. “I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.” —Mother Teresa
37. “Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.” —Og Mandino
38. “Live in such a way that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” —Will Rogers
39. “He has a heart of gold – only harder.” —Adolphe Menjou
40. “All of us, whether we use reading glasses or not, read through lenses.” —Marcus J. Borg
41. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” —Mark Twain
42. “Life is the only game where the object of the game is to figure out what the rules are.” —Tom Seeley
43. “A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.” —Elbert Hubbard
44. “Our snooze button does not have the power to delay the sun from rising in the morning. Time simply does not wait for anyone.” —Ted Robbins
Time will keep moving even if you do not take a move. It does not stop.
45. “You may plan to write a book someday, but you are living a book every day.” —Wilferd Peterson
46. “Are you green and growing or ripe and rotting?” —Ray Kroc
47. “For good or ill, your conversation is your advertisement. Every time you open your mouth, you let men look into your mind.” —Bruce Barton
Everything you say is just a reflection of who you are on the inside.
48. “It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge an elephant, but we can’t dodge a fly.” —Josh Billings
49. “Long experience has taught me that to be criticized is not always to be wrong.” —Anthony Eden
50. “If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” —Confucius
51. “Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.” —Will Rogers
52. “To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths!” —Edgar Allan Poe
Live your life to the fullest.
53. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” —Albert Einstein
54. “Did you ever notice how difficult it is to argue with someone who is not obsessed with being right? —Wayne Dyer
55. “The only stupid question is the one that goes unasked.”
Asking question never make us little. Do not be afraid to ask. You will always win if you do.
56. “Making mistakes does not make you unworthy of love – it makes you human.”
57. “To be ignorant of one’s ignorance is the malady of the ignorant.” —Amos Bronson Alcott
58. “Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.” Leslie Nielsen
59. “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” ―Isaac Asimov
60. “Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.” —Pauline Thomason
Marriage is one of the most important and critical choices to make in life. Make a good one!
61. “You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys.” -Joel Osteen
This quote is so true. There’s not much you can learn about an eagle from a turkey; the two are completely different. Not only that, but think about turkey are known for. They usually only serve the purpose of being eaten. There’s not much going for them, and they’re not really going anywhere other than to the Thanksgiving table. This is a funny way of saying watch the company you keep. You want to be around people who are soaring high in life and exuding excellence!
62. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” -Bette Reese
These funny words of wisdom are spot on! Bette’s quote is the perfect analogy for how even “small” people can have big impact. I’m sure you’ve been bitten several times but a mosquito, and it didn’t matter if it was 50 times smaller, it still caused you agony. In other words, don’t let your size, age, or social class make you feel inferior. You can do whatever you put your mind to, no matter how big the obstacle.
63. “No one has ever become poor by giving.”-Anne Frank
Anne Frank was definitely using sarcasm when she said this phrase, but she was right. When you give, there’s something magnetic about it, and it comes back to you. If anything, people have lost more money over the years by spending recklessly than giving to others. Therefore, if you can share what you have, then do so; it’s better to give than to receive.
64. “I am not funny. My writers were funny. My direction was funny. The situations were funny. But I am not funny. I am not funny. What I am is brave.”-Lucille Ball
If anyone can give funny words of wisdom, it’s Lucille Ball! What she said in this quote is so profound because she’s acknowledging her strength. Sometimes when you step out and do things out of your comfort zone, it’s not about talent. It takes courage to take that next step, or go on an unknown adventure. And in Lucille’s case, she had to be brave enough to face the world and showcase her talent in a humorous way. If you’ve ever seen her show, then you would completely understand her point. Paragraph with details about place, event, or product.
65. “Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.”-Bill Gates
We’ve all seen it before, in real life and movies; the nerds get picked on while the jocks get all the glory. But if you know anything about Bill Gates, then you realize he’s not the nerd anyone should have picked on. Although he said this quote in a joking manner, he makes a very valuable point. You should never mistreat or judge someone based off their current situation; whether it be their looks, race, social class, or gender. You have no idea what potential lies inside of someone and who they’ll become. Even if they don’t become a famous billionaire that changes the world, everyone deserved decency and respect.
66. “The truth can be funny but it’s not funny to cover up the truth.” -Ryan Cooper
Wow, this quote is so powerful. A lot of times people use humor to disguise the truth, whether it be to hide their pain, their embarrassment, or their past. However, this can be damaging in the long run. The important thing to remember is that it’s okay to be authentic and embrace all facets of yourself and your life. Not only that, there’s nothing wrong with laughing at yourself. You don’t have to take life so seriously, even if you haven’t had a good one. Chances are there is someone else out there who’s experienced the same thing and can completely relate to you.
67. “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” -Chili Davis
This is another one of those funny words of wisdom that hits the nail on the head. It’s inevitable that we all grow old and there’s no way around that. However, growing up is all on you. The irony of this quote is funny because you can look at it in a couple of different ways. Do you know someone who is an older person, but they’re still immature? Yes, they might be up in age, but they’re still childish and have a lot more to learn about life; those types of people aren’t very pleasant. On the flipside, this quote is saying it’s okay to be a kid at heart. Having a youthful spirit doesn’t mean you have to act in a selfish and immature manner, but you live life to the fullest. Growing old doesn’t equate to getting boring and grumpy. You can laugh and enjoy life no matter how old you are.
68. “Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.”-Paulo Coelho
Funny words of wisdom might be humorous, but they’re truthful. Paulo finds a way to sum up life in an incredible way. He’s basically saying that even when things seem wrong, there’s something going right, even if you don’t see it. And his clock metaphor is genius. It doesn’t matter if a watch has stopped working, it still has something to offer. It still contributes value, although it’s not performing at its full potential. The same thing goes for you and the world around you. There’s a silver lining in everything; you just have to look for it.
69. “Some people seem to go through life standing at the complaint counter.”-Fred Propp Jr
Everyone knows a person that complains all the time, and it seems nothing is ever good enough. You might even find yourself a the complaint counter a few times a day as well. And if that’s the case, try a different method of handling your situation. You don’t want to be the person who’s constantly bickering about something negative; you waste a lot of time and energy doing that. Not to mention, your days are spoiled because you spend your time fussing instead of accepting the things you can’t change. Don’t let small things distract you from what’s really important in life.Paragraph with details about place, event, or product.
70. “When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” -Franklin Roosevelt
These funny words of wisdom from Franklin Roosevelt provide the perfect analogy for how to get through hard times. Yes, his phrase will make you chuckle, but he dropped a serious piece of advice here. People think once they’ve come to the end of their rope, that’s it. But there’s a solution to everything if you’re willing to push through it. This quote is all about finding the strength to hold on even when things look like they’re falling apart.
Funny wisdom quotes for everyday life
71. “If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: ‘Who cares?” – Tina Fey, comedian
72. “You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.” – Tina Fey, comedian
73. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde, writer
74. “Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood” – Bill Murray, actor
75. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”- Elbert Hubbard, writer
76. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” – Joe Girard, author
77. “Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system” – Ellen Degeneres, comedian
78. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” Will Ferrell, comedian
79. “My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The piña and the colada.” – Ellen Degeneres, comedian
80. “Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.”– Salvador Dali, artist
81. “Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost.” – Martina Navratilova, tennis player
81. “A day without laughter is a day wasted” – Charles Chaplin, actor.
What are words of wisdom?
Wisdom is having knowledge and experience that often comes from trial and error. Once you have complete understanding of something, and you know how to persevere through certain challenges, wisdom kicks in. The beautiful thing about it is that you can pass that knowledge on to someone who needs to hear it. Words of wisdom can be just the thing you need to get out of a sticky situation, or to avoid one.
What can we glean from funny words of wisdom ?
Laughter is the best medicine, and sometimes it’s good to know you can smile even when things are rough. After reading funny words of wisdom, you should feel a sense of relief. There’s no other way to convey the fact that things will be okay than to say it with a bit of humor.
Did these funny words of wisdom brighten your day?
Did you enjoy reading these funny words of wisdom? We understand that life can sometimes get you down, so we hope these quotes were able to make you laugh. Everyone needs to comedic relief from time to time, especially when navigating the woes of life.
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Tina Gray is a freelance journalist, theatre enthusiast and aspiring author. She has a passion for telling stories through various mediums and regularly writes for various online publications. Her short stories will soon be published in her first volume. Currently, she resides in the San Fernando Valley and is studying screenwriting.