That morning cup of coffee can often be the most relaxing part of your day.

For coffee drinkers, that morning cup of joe can be the most important part of the day. It is a time to be alone and relax. That’s the little piece of the day where you get to sit, think, and hang feel at ease. It also could be a time for a little bit of light-hearted humor. So, what better way to accomplish that than to have a few funny coffee quotes to go along with that cup of coffee? Here are just a few said quotes for you, and next time you have some coffee, think of them and have a good laugh as well.

Funny Coffee Quotes to Start Your Day Right

If your day depends on a cup of liquid energy, these funny coffee quotes will speak to you. Pour up a cup and read along for our favorites.

1. Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.​– Alphonse Alias

Coffee is, of course, a caffeinated beverage (unless you opt for decaf). Many people use it to stay awake or to wake up in the morning. This is especially true of people with more to do than the hours in the day allow for, such as college students, corporate executives, and others who tend to burn the midnight oil. That is what makes this quote so funny. Coffee is, of course, no substitute for actual sleep, which human beings simply cannot live without. However, if you tend to not have enough time to sleep as much as you’d like, a good cup of coffee or three will definitely help you out. Therefore, this quote definitely belongs on any list of funny coffee quotes.

2. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.​-T.S. Eliot

Thomas Stearns Eliot, better known as T.S. Eliot, was a Harvard University educated poet, who contributed to the Harvard Advocate while he was a student there. That is where he got his start as the renowned poet he would become. Apparently, the American-born poet turned British citizen was an avid coffee drinker. This is one of the best funny coffee quotes I ran across, because people generally think of poets as deep, introspective, brooding types. T.S. Eliot was likely most certainly that, but he also clearly had a sense of humor.

This is not only one of the best funny coffee quotes. It is also a wise one. Sometimes, life can overwhelm us. Things can seem like they are just too much. So, measuring them out in coffee spoons can help. This is metaphorical, of course, but coffee spoons are small and manageable. Life can become that way as well.

3. Good Communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.​-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Anne Morrow Lindbergh was the wife of Charles Lindbergh, who was known for his aviation prowess. Ann herself was a notably accomplished woman, with her own flair for aviation. She also was a well known writer. Born around the turn of the 20th century in 1906, Anne Morrow Lindbergh was a true trailblazer of her time. That is why she definitely makes it onto this list of funny coffee quotes.

This quote is funny because there is not a coffee drinker on the planet who has not sat up late, downing that last cup, only to realize they will not be getting so much as a wink of sleep that night. The same can be true of a good, long, nighttime chat that really makes you think. Anne Morrow Lindbergh was a very smart woman, and this quote is only the tip of the iceberg on that point.

4. Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.​– David Letterman

David Letterman is the revered former host of the Late Show on CBS. Prior to his show being taken over by fellow funny man Stephen Colbert, Letterman was the king of late night. Prior to his retirement, he had been a fixture on late night network television for more than three decades.

Now, it is difficult to imagine the likes of David Letterman being without  a personality, since it is his personality that has been his money maker all of these years. In addition to doing late night television, Letterman is also an author and wildly successful producer. He is definitely a well known show business personality. That is why this quote definitely belongs on any list of funny coffee quotes. Most people would say “no way would Letterman be without personality were it not for the coffee.” But, I personally take the man at his word. Maybe that’s just the magic of coffee.

5. I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. ​-Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan is of course, one of the nation’s most memorable presidents in of the modern era. Famous for the fact that he liked to take naps in the afternoon, this quote definitely lands hard on this list of funny coffee quotes. It is even funnier, since the presidency is a notoriously tough job that is completely unyielding in its demands. Presidents are often seen as strong men (there have been no women thus far), so the humanizing idea of his needing a nap is quite funny.

Reagan is, even posthumously, the darling of the Republican Party, the president they all aspire to be. Perhaps it was this very human side that made him so lovable to those people who revere him so much. Either way, it isn’t easy to see him declining that cup of coffee at lunch in order to make sure he was in prime napping condition.

6. Like everyone who makes the mistake of getting older, I start the day with coffee and obituaries. ​– Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby is one of America’s most celebrated comedians. Famous his Jello Pudding Pop commercials, the hit 1980s sitcom The Cosby Show, and cartoons like Fat Albert, almost no list of funny quotes is quite complete without at least one Bill Cosby quote. Now, many might see the above quote as morbid, but I see it as dark humor. It is also humanizing. Something most people do not want to admit to or be aware of is our own mortality as human beings. After all, it’s not a happy thought. However, adding a bit of humor can certainly make it better.

Many elderly folks do read the obituaries each morning with their cup of coffee. Countless television shows have highlighted this fact. Bill Cosby simply admitted out loud what many folks whisper about from their rocking chairs or kitchen tables. And hey, dark humor is still humor, right?

7. I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden and I go, ‘remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.’​-Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey is another notable comedian that makes the list of funny coffee quotes. Known for a plethora of hilarious movies, stand up acts, and television shows, this is a man who definitely knows the art of being funny. However, he can also be an incredibly serious and thoughtful guy when he wants to be. He is wise and appreciates the things around him, and the good that has come of all of his hard work.

Many people say that Hollywood is the one place where you can be dirt poor one day and filthy rich the next. As much as people talk about the “Hollywood bubble,” many of these people really appreciate what they have, all the success that has come their way so quickly. They know what it is like to be on the other side, and they know that they could be there again. More people should remember that. Jim Carrey certainly knows what he is talking about here for sure. Hopefully, more of the world gets that mindset. It might become a kinder place.

Funny coffee quotes are a great way to start your day.

When you wake up and have that first cup of coffee, you know your day has started. However, these humorous quotes can make it all even better. Almost all of them are from famous or a highly admired public and historical figures who definitely know how to make one crack a smile. There are also touches of wisdom and inspiration there, which we could all use from time to time. Quotes are an amazing way to sit back, think, reflect, and laugh.

Hopefully, there are people on this list that you recognize and admire, or perhaps you may have found someone new that you would like to check out. Either way, hopefully you had fun reading these quotes and the backgrounds of their authors over a good cup of coffee.

So, if you enjoyed this list of funny coffee quotes, please let us know in the comments, or share on your social media if you are so inclined.

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