Engagement and marriage are two things that could be understood as the same. However, that really is not true. Engagement is the first step in the journey of marriage. Often, we can see a lot of videos online documenting engagements and weddings. How sweet are they? Well, we can say, they’re too sweet. From finding the perfect engagement ring to the wedding afterparty, there is a lot to look forward to when planning and preparing that perfect day.

One of the most important things during this beautiful day the humor and laughter that comes along with marriage and engagement. The funny quotes and speeches, embarrassing quotes from best friends and family, crazy pictures from the old days when you just met and hilarious father daughter dances during the after party. We wanted to give you some funny inspiration for your speeches, invitation or just for fun. This is why we gathered the best and most funny wedding quotes from the internet. Aside from wedding pictures and videos, the sweetness, and funny side of weddings and engagements can be captured through awesomely funny wedding quotes.  We have come up with the top 25 most funny engagement and wedding quotes to guide you in picking the most usable and efficient wedding quotes to fit your purpose.

Funny Engagement and Wedding Quotes

1. Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops.

Well, I’m not sure who would rally against this but why bother, women should really do the shopping – no buts, no ifs.

2. When I said I do, I didn’t mean laundry.

We can say that this is a warning or a heads-up to what’s waiting for women, could be men, after the wedding.

3.  They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

This could mean double – either good or bad, up to you to interpret it.

4. Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

So make sure to find someone who’s willing to be annoyed by you and who can annoy you too, it’s a win-win.

5. I promise to take care of you when you are old but the first time you hit me with your crane, I’ll wash your dentures in toilet water.

Love could be twisted sometimes so you be careful – always – you never know when this becomes a knot.

6. If my husband doesn’t start crying when he sees me walking down the aisle, I’m turning around and doing it again.

Women, especially brides, have that preconceived notion that they should and must be the prettiest on their wedding day – that’s a given. However, they also assume that their groom should be so emotional at this day to tear up specifically at the time where they will walk up the aisle. That could be too much, but why not – men will really get teary, either because they’re so happy or that they’re gonna get tied. Beers up!

7. In my house, I’m the boss and my wife is just the decision maker.

There’s a famous saying that goes ‘Behind a man’s success is a woman’. Need we say more?

8. I thought I was stupid until I got married. My stupidity was confirmed. 

It’s better to realize some things at the earliest time possible, isn’t it?

9. Marriage is like a public toilet, those waiting outside are desperate to get in and those inside are desperate to come out.

This could be one of those wedding quotes you don’t know whether it’s a warning or just a cynical comment – but any will do.

10. Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. 

Even the genius had something to say about marriage – he’s quite thoughtful, is he not?

11. Drink ’till she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

Wait till you’re sober.

12. The secret of a happy marriage remains… a secret.

That’s why no one says that to weddings.

13. No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is not saying. 

Keep this in your notes… and mental reminder in your head.

14. What’s your Wedding Quote;) The international symbol for marriage.

No matter how we see it, grooms-to-be should really have this engraved onto their wallets – just a reminder.

15. Marriage. Better start drinking now, it only gets worse from here. 

After the wedding isn’t really that bad – you’ll just feel like it’s a hangover… that never gets off easily.

16. Do you promise to wipe up pee from the toilet seat for all the days of your life?

It’s up to you to say I do or No do.

17. Advice for almost married men: Never laugh at your wife’s choices, you are one of them.

Before you laugh, look at yourself. Then if you feel its right, go ahead and laugh out loud.

18. Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband.

Aside from the customer, the wife is always right.

19. 101 Positions, 102 Excuses.

What’s in a man’s head is… you know. Always.

20. The smallest handcuffs in the world – marriage rings.

Don’t get it so wrong. You’re the one who surrendered, weren’t you? So just take the punishment, willingly. That’s what you get when you ask for a opal engagement ring;)

21. Wedding. A funeral where you smell your own flowers.

Sometimes, you just have to get past the humor of this one for it makes sense. It signals the end of your bachelor or bachelorette days.

22. Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore.

23. All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. 

Home is where the trouble is, sometimes.

24. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and spade.

A deck has 52 cards. Unlimited spades and clubs.

25. Game over.

It’s really not game over. This is just the end of the funniest engagement and wedding quotes.

Funny Wedding Quotes

Whether you’re a soon-to-be bride or groom, let these engagement and wedding quotes serve as reminders to you on your quest to marriage. They may be funny and hilarious, even cynical, but these are literals that came from human experiences. They have not hardened facts but merely wedding quotes… remember though, that being mere wedding quotes, that they are not of value. Since they are made from real human interactions, perhaps they hold bearing to help you realize what is in it for you.

We’re not creeping you out, we are just stating that there are consequences to choices that you have to face – with a happy smile on your cheeks – like marriage which happens after engagement and wedding. The funny wedding quotes are actually sweet in essence, that it guides you to your path of engagements and weddings.

Just in case you’re not the one getting married and you just wish to send a greeting to a friend nearing the day of her ‘I do’, feel free to stick a note from these hilarious wedding quotes. If you still want more, you can check through more romantic quotes and love quotes here in good morning quotes.